This was on ABC and I missed all but the last 40-minutes or so. It was done seriously but it’s sort of campy now. Doesn’t mean I don’t love it, ‘cuz I do. Had a brief text conversation during the movie, with my friend Sheila that went something like this
( Warning: Contains Spoilers and Good-Natured Blasphemy ) :
SHEILA: “Parting of the Red Sea never gets old. Happy Easter.”
C-MAVEN: “Crikey! Is THAT on NOW????!! What channel?”
SHEILA: “ABC. Always on Passover. So campy, but the Red Sea always gets me.”
C-MAVEN: “Turning to it now. Ramses…that’s my boy. And Eddie G.!”
SHEILA: “Everyone had a job.”
C-MAVEN: “Good ol. C.B. Look at Ramses. Guess I missed the three beauty queens on the rocks. Crap!”
SHEILA: “The rest of the movie is awful.”
C-MAVEN: “You’re a heathen.”
SHEILA: “Yup.”
C-MAVEN: “Just give me John Derek.”
SHEILA: “Come on, the dialogue is awful.”
C-MAVEN: “You said it, you explain it to the Lord.”
SHEILA: “Was there anyone in Hollywood who wasn’t in that movie? Maybe the Munchkins.”
C-MAVEN: “S.Z.’Cuddles’ Sakall and Eve Arden.”
SHEILA: “LOL.”
C-MAVEN: “Look at Anne. Even with Moses’ Little Richard hairdo, she still wants him.
SHEILA: “LOL! She’s a long way from “The Razor’s Edge.”
C-MAVEN: “Hey, there’s Anne and Yul. This is good. Look at his legs.”
SHEILA: “Legs? I’m not into legs.”
C-MAVEN: “Dathan G. Robinson. Rabble rouser.
SHEILA: “Even with crappy dialogue, he’s terrific. Is that John Carradine?”
C-MAVEN: “Yeah. I know his voice anywhere. A golden calf. Can they eat it? In the meantime, Moses is toasting marshmallows at the burning bush. I want answers from ‘I Am’. What can you get for that calf on 47th Street? And where is the chariot race?!”
SHEILA: “That’s ‘Ben-Hur.’ Wrong movie.”
C-MAVEN: “Ha. Testing you. Wait up!! I think I saw the Kardashians in that orgy.”
SHEILA: “LOL. Test me. I had to watch this movie every single year. I know every scene by heart.”
C-MAVEN: “The color is spectacular.”
SHEILA: “Yup.”
C-MAVEN: “NOW Moses is asking friggin’ questions?”
SHEILA: “He was always a worrier.”
C-MAVEN: “That’s a lot of people.”
SHEILA: “Everyone worked. No computer generated mobs.”
C-MAVEN: “True. Just plain mobs. What an overhead shot. DeMille is King.”
SHEILA: “Impressive.”
C-MAVEN: “She’s a motivator.”
SHEILA: “Nah, she’s a bitch.”
C-MAVEN: “Love him barking orders and getting dressed.”
SHEILA: “He’s making a mistake. He needs to breathe.”
C-MAVEN: “Yoga? At a time like this?”
SHEILA: “Do you see any blondes?”
C-MAVEN: “No ma’am. What does that mean, no blondes?”
SHEILA: “In “King of Kings” Jesus is shown with blonde hair, blue eyes. Really? Ya think? Not so much. Oy!”
C-MAVEN: “Eddie G.’s having a grand time while Moses is getting rules from on high. Congress should be there.”
SHEILA: “Now Moses is going to break the tablets. That’s why he couldn’t cross over.”
C-MAVEN: “They couldn’t cross over because of Chris Christie.”
SHEILA: “ROFLMAO. That’s why they had to wait 40 years until everyone died off.”
C-MAVEN: “Walking since 1975.”
SHEILA: “Just wanted to have a good time. Can’t leave them unsupervised.”
C-MAVEN: “Even if you didn’t cut a rug?”
SHEILA: “He can’t make that call.”
C-MAVEN: “C.B. DeMille and a cast of thousands. Minus Eve Arden.”
SHEILA: “They don’t make movies like that anymore.”
C-MAVEN: “They don’t make ’em like that anymore, is right.”
( H O M E )
