This was on ABC  and I missed all but the last 40-minutes or so. It was done seriously but it’s sort of campy now. Doesn’t mean I don’t love it, ‘cuz I do. Had a brief text conversation during the movie, with my friend Sheila that went something like this ~

( Warning: Contains Spoilers and Good-Natured Blasphemy ) :


SHEILA:     “Parting of the Red Sea never gets old. Happy Easter.”

C-MAVEN: “Crikey! Is THAT on NOW????!! What channel?”

SHEILA:     “ABC. Always on Passover. So campy, but the Red Sea always gets me.”

C-MAVEN: “Turning to it now. Ramses…that’s my boy. And Eddie G.!”

SHEILA:     “Everyone had a job.”

C-MAVEN: “Good ol. C.B. Look at Ramses. Guess I missed the three beauty queens on the rocks. Crap!”

SHEILA:     “The rest of the movie is awful.”

C-MAVEN: “You’re a heathen.”

SHEILA:      “Yup.”

C-MAVEN: “Just give me John Derek.”

SHEILA:     “Come on, the dialogue is awful.”

C-MAVEN: “You said it, you explain it to the Lord.”

SHEILA:      “Was there anyone in Hollywood who wasn’t in that movie? Maybe the Munchkins.”

C-MAVEN: “S.Z.’Cuddles’ Sakall and Eve Arden.”

SHEILA:      “LOL.”

C-MAVEN: “Look at Anne. Even with Moses’ Little Richard hairdo, she still wants him.

SHEILA:      “LOL! She’s a long way from “The Razor’s Edge.”

C-MAVEN: “Hey, there’s Anne and Yul. This is good. Look at his legs.”

SHEILA:     “Legs? I’m not into legs.”

C-MAVEN: “Dathan G. Robinson. Rabble rouser.

SHEILA:     “Even with crappy dialogue, he’s terrific. Is that John Carradine?”

C-MAVEN: “Yeah. I know his voice anywhere. A golden calf. Can they eat it? In the meantime, Moses is toasting marshmallows at the burning bush. I want answers from ‘I Am’. What can you get for that calf on 47th Street? And where is the chariot race?!”

SHEILA:     “That’s ‘Ben-Hur.’ Wrong movie.”

C-MAVEN: “Ha. Testing you. Wait up!! I think I saw the Kardashians in that orgy.”

SHEILA:     “LOL. Test me. I had to watch this movie every single year. I know every scene by heart.”

C-MAVEN: “The color is spectacular.”

SHEILA:      “Yup.”

C-MAVEN: “NOW Moses is asking friggin’ questions?”

SHEILA:     “He was always a worrier.”

C-MAVEN: “That’s a lot of people.”

SHEILA:      “Everyone worked. No computer generated mobs.”

C-MAVEN: “True. Just plain mobs. What an overhead shot. DeMille is King.”

SHEILA:       “Impressive.”

C-MAVEN:   “She’s a motivator.”

SHEILA:        “Nah, she’s a bitch.”

C-MAVEN:    “Love him barking orders and getting dressed.”

SHEILA:        “He’s making a mistake. He needs to breathe.”

C-MAVEN:    “Yoga? At a time like this?”

SHEILA:        “Do you see any blondes?”

C-MAVEN:    “No ma’am. What does that mean, no blondes?”


SHEILA:        “In “King of Kings” Jesus is shown with blonde hair, blue eyes. Really? Ya think? Not so much. Oy!”

C-MAVEN:     “Eddie G.’s having a grand time while Moses is getting rules from on high. Congress should be there.”

SHEILA:      “Now Moses is going to break the tablets. That’s why he couldn’t cross over.”

C-MAVEN:  “They couldn’t cross over because of Chris Christie.”

SHEILA:      “ROFLMAO. That’s why they had to wait  40 years until everyone died off.”

C-MAVEN:  “Walking since 1975.”

SHEILA:       “Just wanted to have a good time. Can’t leave them unsupervised.”

C-MAVEN:   “Even if you didn’t cut a rug?”

SHEILA:        “He can’t make that call.”

C-MAVEN:  “C.B. DeMille and a cast of thousands. Minus Eve Arden.”

SHEILA:      “They don’t make movies like that anymore.”

C-MAVEN:  “They don’t make ’em like that anymore, is right.”


( H O M E )

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